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8 Things the Dutch find Rude

29/6/2015

 
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When living overseas it’s always a good idea to have an idea of how to act, and of what type of behaviour is acceptable, and what isn’t. Here are 8 things that won’t win you any friends in the Netherlands.

1.     Telling someone what to do – the Dutch are allergic to hierarchy. Telling someone what to do may well backfire and probably won’t have the desired result. Ask nicely… it makes a huge difference.



2.     Avoiding eye contact – For those of you old (or young!) enough to remember the Karate Kid films, Mr Miyagi was fond of telling Daniel-san to “always look eye!” Not looking someone in the eye when speaking to him or her can appear mistrustful, as if you have something to hide. When addressing/greeting someone, remember, “Always look eye!”

3.     Calling on someone unannounced - In general the Dutch don’t appreciate people turning up at their doorsteps unannounced… no matter how well meant. If you don’t already have an “appointment” to meet someone call beforehand to see if it is okay.

4.     Forgetting the handshake – despite the appearance of informality in the Netherlands the Dutch love an old handshake. The first time you meet someone always extend your hand and say your first and last name.  At business meetings and social occasions hands are usually shook both before and at the end of the event.

5.     Being indirect in your communication– the Dutch value openness and honesty more than politeness. Beating around the bush can at best lead to misunderstanding and at worst lead to mistrust.

6.     Asking personal questions – The Dutch are quite a reserved lot, avoid very personal questions until you know someone quite well.

7.     Not saying your name on the phone – whether you’re talking to a person’s secretary, the CEO of a company or an Internet provider telephonist you always say your name before launching into the purpose of your call.

8.     Acting like you are better than anyone else – because you’re not!
Michelle link
2/9/2015 02:03:29 am

Interesting post! I've only moved to the Netherlands a few months ago so these are interesting to note!

Ann
2/9/2015 04:29:54 am

Oddly enough I was in Amsterdam recently and although giving my own name, I had to ask people what their name is

Marius de groot
3/9/2015 04:52:44 am

Ann,

In Amsterdam you maybe thought to meet real dutch people, but you have more chance to meet non-dutch born people in Amsterdam.....:)

Ron
2/9/2015 05:58:31 am

Great collection. I live for three years in the netherlands and all rules in the list perfectly describes the case. As I also experienced, when you need to do someting official a smile and some kind words can solve every problem(ziekenhuis, gemeente, uwv). Hup NL!

Marco
2/9/2015 06:15:39 am

In American movies the Dutch are often portraited as German speaking people. They hate that. Though the word Dutch looks and sounds similar as Deutsch, it's not the same. As a German it's also best to start in English when you want to ask a Dutch person something. Though they might be able to speak German they prefer to speak in a neutral language.Like the 1st point allready mentioned, Dutch don't like to be told what to do, so don't expect the to speak your language because you can't speak theirs....

Theodore
2/9/2015 06:32:30 am

but i am better than everyone else

Gopukrishnan
2/9/2015 06:49:31 am

Also, they value self-reliance. So be prepared to manage your issues without bothering others for help too often. It is normal to ask for small help in Asian cultures, such as with finding directions. The Dutch do help, but if they think it is something you could figure out yourself with a little extra effort, they expect you to, eg while travelling together and you need to find train times. Do it yourself. They don't work in the railway station either

dna
2/9/2015 03:00:53 pm

One thing the rest of the world finds rude: the Dutch!

DJJE
3/9/2015 12:18:31 am

This is sooo true!

Ro
3/9/2015 10:57:18 pm

The dutch aren't rude. They're just very direct which can be seen as rude. We never really learned that some questions are not to be asked. What feels like just a little curiosity for us can feel invading for people who are not from the Netherlands.

Jul
2/9/2015 06:38:58 pm

The Dutch love to ask personal questions and tell you what to do.

Martin
2/9/2015 08:46:26 pm

Totally true - most Dutch have 'opinions' and are not shy in sharing them.

Chef
2/9/2015 08:22:38 pm

Also the dutch believe they are better than anybody else...
They are never wrong and even if you catch them wrong, they don't apologize but pretend nothing happened and move on.
A few companies are improving that lately though which is very good :)
Globalization helps!!

Frank link
3/9/2015 03:29:00 pm

This is so not true! The Dutch are the first to say that they are wrong and apologize!
And we do not believe we are better then the rest! We know we are better then the rest.

btw: all rules up there are true except the one about comming over uninvited! Everyone is welcome if you are known. But we do appreciate if a call has been made prior to a visit because the Dutch allways make sure that there is enough food and drinks in the house!

Nick
2/9/2015 09:04:30 pm

Dutch people in general don't feel better then others, at least that's my experience. It's probably one of the easiest and safest place to live, again in general. I find the list very accurate. Dutch companies however should improve their customer service, especially compared to British companies

Vicky
2/9/2015 10:10:40 pm

O so true, compared to British customer service, the Dutch are no were, they need to learn a lot about this aspect...but strangely they consider themselves great traders but their customer service is terrible!

Ana María
3/9/2015 03:16:25 am

I totally agree

Ana María
3/9/2015 03:19:07 am

It dependes where you come from. If you are a national from a country they respect... that applies. If you come from, for example, Spain, they treat you like you don't know nothing about life (or as we say in spanish you can't write neither letter O using a template)... my own experience.

H2H link
3/9/2015 03:32:48 am

My first tip off that customer service here in Holland was going to be quite a bit ...different from what I was used to back in the States was when I was getting ready to call a company's customer service line and noticed they actually charge you to talk to their customer service department. I soon came to realize virtually all Dutch companies do the same. It actually costs you money to contact them in order to get a mistake they've made corrected!

Kiwi momma
3/9/2015 05:56:24 am

us Dutch hate that too H2H, l think it's our national pet peeve! :)

DJJE
3/9/2015 12:24:35 am

It is true the Dutch pride themselves on being up-front and direct (blunt).They DO NOT value it in others doing the same back to them. In fact they are seem shocked and taken back by the fact one would dare to treat them as they treat others... It is quite comical to watch actually. (I am a blunt American that has lived here for 20 years) They like it even less if you do it in their own language.

Hendrik
3/9/2015 01:27:24 am

As a dutch man I can quite agree with this list of eight. Although I'd like to add that coming around unnanounced is no more a problem than in other countries and forgetting a handshake won't be a problem. Another thing that's nice to know is that Dutch people really like to be praised for their English, German and French when speaking to someone who's native language this is. Holland is number three on the list of best foreign language speaking countries. Don't think Dutch is the only official language in Holland because Fries (Frysk) is one either.

TOTO
3/9/2015 03:30:48 pm

Racist and arrogance is written here and Dutch twist around with words to show is as their culture etc. but at the core they are racist and these are modified ways of making it more subtle

Rick
3/9/2015 11:19:06 pm

Clearly you don't know a thing about the Dutch. We are everywhere in the World. For supporting others. Share oure technology and oure building structures. We are one of the smallest country's in the world en give a lot of money to everybody how needs it.

Don't spit fire over the Internet. That is real a weak.

Sorry for the bad language! Just a dutch guy how is proud of it's homecountry like everybody els is about theres.

John
6/9/2015 01:24:58 am

Thanks, your comment is indeed not racist at all.

Violet
4/9/2015 07:46:50 am

I see a lot of people commenting on customer service. I agree that you might run into impolite people at times, but in most cases it helps if you treat them decently. I have been contacted by UK & US customer services and the fake politeness they showered me with made me feel uneasy and the sugar-coating was so over the top, the glazing on my teeth got corroded lol... So no, I don't want those kind of practices here. Very insincere :)... As for feeling better, nah, but we do like ourselves, doesn't mean we think the rest is beneath us

Eloise
10/9/2015 04:02:02 pm

All these are really just common decency and manners. People all over the world will get annoyed if you do these things.
Plus, in the first point - 'the Dutch are allergic to hierarchy' - this is a bit strange as they have a royal family!

Naka
29/9/2015 06:34:47 am

I don't think that the Dutch having a royal family has anything to do with the fact that the Dutch are allergic or not allergic to hierarchy.
The royal family is not much more then window dressing and a marketing tools for the Dutch trade and economy . It only pleases a minority, the majority does not care or wants The Netherlands to become a republic.
It is not my understanding that the Dutch are allergic to hierarchy, it is in there nature not just to do what people order or ask them to do without asking first why they have to do it(that way).

dipankar
28/11/2015 04:32:20 pm

All the conversations are nice and good to knows things about Dutch


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