There's a great little Dutch expression which goes "Nee heb je al, ja kun je krijgen’. Translated literally it means “You have (a) ’no’, ‘yes’ you can get”. Loosely translated it basically means that if you want something ask for it; “nothing ventured, nothing gained”, and it applies to everything in the Netherlands, both in the working environment and outside.
We are not always good at asking for what we want, we may feel that if we deserve something it will/should be given to us. Maybe we think that it’s not ‘polite’ to ask, or we’re afraid that the answer will be no. The Dutch expression is great in that it quite clearly tells you (in true Dutch direct fashion!) that if you don’t ask the answer is already a no.
A Spanish lady working for a Dutch company mentioned to me that she had been stuck in the same position at work for quite some time. She was doing quite well and couldn’t understand why she was never promoted. She never thought to ask, she assumed that her hard work would be recognised and she would be rewarded for it. Don’t assume anything! If you want something ask for it. Asking doesn’t necessarily mean you will get it but if you don’t ask…..
You've got last minute invite to some event and really want to go but have no one to look after your kids. You know the neighbour is home and gets on with your children but you don't want to ask in case she is busy. Ask her, if she can she will say so, if she can't she'll say no.
You haven’t had a pay rise for a while, or you’d like to do some kind of training course (paid for by your work). Don’t hang around waiting for things to be offered to you; get the facts and figures straight in your head (the Dutch love hard facts), be clear on why you deserve a pay rise/what benefit doing the training would bring the company, and schedule in a meeting with your manager. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
You’re at the theatre and your allocated seats are quite far back. There are lots of free seats up front but you think they are probably reserved and you don’t want to sit in someone else’s place. Find someone working in the theatre and enquire whether you can move seats. There’s no harm in asking.
Your neighbour’s trees are blocking the sun coming into your garden and you can’t understand why they haven’t done anything about them. You’ve met someone nice in your art class but you’re afraid to ask him/her out in case he/she says no. You’ve been playing competitive sports for a while and think you are good enough to move up to the next level but don’t want to appear silly in front of the coach if she says you’re not ready yet. You’ve an idea for a new product but you’re not sure if your boss will think it’s as good an idea as you do. The list is endless.
Don’t assume that others know what you want. Don’t assume that others will always have your best interests foremost in their minds. Don’t assume that you will be automatically rewarded for hard work and effort. This is the Netherlands; if you want something ASK FOR IT.
A Spanish lady working for a Dutch company mentioned to me that she had been stuck in the same position at work for quite some time. She was doing quite well and couldn’t understand why she was never promoted. She never thought to ask, she assumed that her hard work would be recognised and she would be rewarded for it. Don’t assume anything! If you want something ask for it. Asking doesn’t necessarily mean you will get it but if you don’t ask…..
You've got last minute invite to some event and really want to go but have no one to look after your kids. You know the neighbour is home and gets on with your children but you don't want to ask in case she is busy. Ask her, if she can she will say so, if she can't she'll say no.
You haven’t had a pay rise for a while, or you’d like to do some kind of training course (paid for by your work). Don’t hang around waiting for things to be offered to you; get the facts and figures straight in your head (the Dutch love hard facts), be clear on why you deserve a pay rise/what benefit doing the training would bring the company, and schedule in a meeting with your manager. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
You’re at the theatre and your allocated seats are quite far back. There are lots of free seats up front but you think they are probably reserved and you don’t want to sit in someone else’s place. Find someone working in the theatre and enquire whether you can move seats. There’s no harm in asking.
Your neighbour’s trees are blocking the sun coming into your garden and you can’t understand why they haven’t done anything about them. You’ve met someone nice in your art class but you’re afraid to ask him/her out in case he/she says no. You’ve been playing competitive sports for a while and think you are good enough to move up to the next level but don’t want to appear silly in front of the coach if she says you’re not ready yet. You’ve an idea for a new product but you’re not sure if your boss will think it’s as good an idea as you do. The list is endless.
Don’t assume that others know what you want. Don’t assume that others will always have your best interests foremost in their minds. Don’t assume that you will be automatically rewarded for hard work and effort. This is the Netherlands; if you want something ASK FOR IT.
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